030 - Being Cruel Online Has Real Consequences

May 30

“Words sent through a screen still affect real people. A joke, rumor, or embarrassing post can seriously harm someone’s mental health, reputation, or safety. Think before posting.”

You Control Who Has Access to You

Think about your room for a second. It’s your space. You get to decide who walks through the door, who hangs out on your couch, and who gets kicked out when they start acting up. You wouldn’t just leave the front door wide open for random strangers to wander in and out, right?

But on social media, a lot of us do the digital equivalent of exactly that. We leave our profiles completely public, letting anyone—from random bots to sketchy strangers—DM us, comment on our photos, or track what we're doing. It’s time to remember a major rule of the internet: you control who has access to you.

Taking Back the Controller

Scammers, cyberbullies, and creeps rely on open doors. They look for public accounts because it makes it incredibly easy to slide into your DMs, figure out where you hang out, or steal your pics to create fake profiles.

Setting your boundaries isn't about being anti-social; it’s about being the boss of your own digital space. You don't owe anyone a follow back, a reply, or a look into your daily life.

Your 3-Step Lockdown Plan

You don’t need to be a tech genius to build a solid boundary wall. Spend five minutes on your favorite apps today and take these steps:

Flip the Switch to Private: Go into your settings on TikTok, Insta, or Snapchat and make your account private. This means people have to ask your permission before they can see your posts.
Prune Your Follower List: Take a look at who is actually following you. If you see accounts you don’t know, or people who make you uncomfortable, hit remove or block.
Lock Down Your DMs: Change your message settings so that only "Friends" or people you follow back can send you direct messages.

If anyone ever bypasses your boundaries or makes you feel unsafe, remember you don't have to deal with it alone. Reach out to a trusted adult, or get confidential backup from Technoactivism. Shut the door on the drama and keep your space secure.

What Now

If you have realized that your online space has become unsafe, or if you are dealing with cyberbullies, digital harassment, or people overstepping your boundaries, you have the power to lock down your digital life. Grounded in youth safety frameworks from prominent non-profit organizations like STOMP Out Bullying and ConnectSafely, follow this five-step action plan to protect yourself and reclaim your space:

Starve the Drama and Disengage: Do not respond, comment back, or try to get revenge. Cyberbullies and toxic people look for an emotional reaction to fuel the fire. Walking away from the screen or putting your phone down instantly takes away their power.
Collect and Save the Evidence: Before you delete any cruel messages, comments, or posts out of anger or distress, take clear screenshots of them. Make sure to capture the user's exact account handles or names. If the harassment continues, this documentation will be critical to getting them shut down.
Aggressively Block and Report: Use the safety and moderation tools built directly into the app, social media platform, or gaming lobby where the abuse is happening. Formally report the toxic content for harassment, and block the accounts completely so they can no longer contact you, find your profile, or leave comments.
Tighten Your Privacy Settings: Take control of who can reach you. Go into your account settings on all your apps and switch your profiles from public to Private or Friends Only. Restrict your direct messages (DMs) so that only people you follow back can send you notes, and limit who can tag or mention you.
Break the Silence and Talk to an Adult: Bullies and online predators rely on making you feel isolated or embarrassed so you keep the problem a secret. You do not have to carry this heavy burden alone. Talk to a parent, caregiver, favorite teacher, or school counselor who can support you emotionally and help you handle the situation safely.

Local Resources

The Children's Center [https://www.thechildrenscenter.org/]
(360) 699-2244
Teen Talk (Clark County Community Services) [https://ccteentalk.clark.wa.gov/]
(360) 397-2428
Lutheran Community Services Northwest [https://lcsnw.org/office/vancouver/]
(360) 694-5624